You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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