I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
organizing the empties. That sober.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
