I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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