I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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