I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize