I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
