It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
