in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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