so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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