No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
