U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
