well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He felt like a one man threesome
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
