How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
