My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
