i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
