all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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