Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
