I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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