Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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