So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
