I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
