worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
