you would pick up someone in the library
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
