Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
