Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
