She's JV to your varsity
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just puked most of my soul out..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
