As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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