If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
