I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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