ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
