Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
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I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.