so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
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I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.