What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.