I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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