Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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