4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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