If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
