you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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