mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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