I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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