i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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