you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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