Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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