I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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