I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
