I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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