yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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