is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
