I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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