Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
