The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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