My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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