So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
