I am in a vortex of obligation.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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