Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
