brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
