let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
