Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
