Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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