he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
